I've challenged myself to spend an hour under a tree every day for 30 days. In reality, it isn't a challenge; it doesn't feel hard, but I wanted a container for it. An act of discipline. A little reverence and ritual. I would describe it as a 30 day restoration and opening to nature. Taking the time to really listen and watch nature.
I tell her I will be her mouth, her voice. It is in her name that I will work. My affair with the forest and fields is now in its fifth day, and she has already given me so much. Some of which I will share with you in the following weeks. I’d love if you would join me in some version of your own restoration. Spring, with its new warmth, is a chance to watch how nature slowly comes to life, bringing us with it.
Having always imagined meeting my teacher, I now realize how she, Mother Nature, has been this for me from a very early age. When I was 7, I could feel the house plants reaching out to me. I used to hear her voice in my dreams when I lived in the city, calling me down dark hallways. I followed her to this wilderness rich life I live now. As I take my place at her feet, I can finally recognize her.
My inspiration for this challenge came from a dream in which I saw a fox in a harness hanging from my bedroom ceiling. It only just occurred to me that it was in my bedroom when I walked in. She was fat, healthy, with a thick coat. Nevertheless, she was glazed over, her body limp and unresponsive.
In a state of panic, I yelled, "How long has this animal been here?".
A large, gruff and dominating man approached me and asked me to keep quiet. “She's been here a long time. It's nothing to worry about. She is doing fine."
“No. This is not acceptable. She needs to be freed." I respond frantically.
As he takes her down from the hook and brushes her fur, the man says, "She will never make it in the wild." As he takes her out of her harness, she falls over onto her side. She is unable to stand on her own. Washing her fur and brushing her coat, he is rough and insensitive. She is being cared for, but barely. He hangs her up again. She'll be better off here. Put it out of your mind. It's fine. She's fine."
Standing there, unable to speak, I know nothing about this is okay. Unable to free her, I stand speechless.
As I meditated on this dream, I realized that the hanging fox symbolized my intuitive, wild, native self. The intelligent, dominant energy I inhabit most of the day mistreats this part of me. Insisting that I forget about it. It is my pragmatic reasoning that prevents me from nurturing my wild. In a sense, I am trying to free my fox from the ceiling by reestablishing my relationship with nature. Each of us must take care of our untamed, ancient side. The most likely part of our lives to be neglected is this one. Our worlds are in need of this relationship to be restored.
“The people cannot be healed unless the land is healed. The land cannot be healed until the people are healed by the land.” -Martin Prechtel
I hope each of us will step into a field, or under the parasol of a tree, and invite our foxes forward. May we ask our rational minds and guards to stay at home, so we can be open to the wild breath of the earth. Consider what we are inhumanely treating and nurse it back to health.
Sharings like these cannot, or should not, replace your personal connection to her. I share because I promised her I would.If the messages she sends to me can serve as a bell in your ears, a fist pounding on your chest, then you will become aware of your need for her and her love for you.
It is in her company that we will remember. We will be dismembered and reassembled by her. Her continued generosity astonishes me. The work I will do will be in her name. Join me?
Love,
Sarah
I am living (and learning) in the traditional territory of the Shuswap people. The Secwepemc People. Thank you.
Wild Voice