Hello all, I have an idea I’d like to try. I’d like to flow write on a prompt from you. I’ll pick a topic from the comments and will write a flow written response in the next week. I’m curious what sits on your heart, and if there will be resonance between your world and mine. I’m feeling experimental!
So please, if willing to play, write down a word or two for me to riff on. Let us see what falls out from one heart to another.
love,
Sarah
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I think sometimes about death and dying. I'd love for it to touch my life in a way that brought lightness and love and connection instead of anxiety and fear. That sounds like living to me.
I often recommend the book, Die Wise to my client who are struggling with loss. It's an amazing read by Stephen Jenkinson, a man who was the head of Hospice for a large Toronto hospital for years. He also has an excellent documentary called Grief Walker! :-)
I’m so happy that I saw your comment. I lost my father (favorite person ever) to a quick and terrible cancer last year. I have really struggled with his passing. I will definitely check out these books
Thank you SO MUCH to both of you!!!! I feel like such a weirdo because anxiety and fear consume me... every day. The struggle is real. I took Sarah‘s recommendation of reading Byron Kates book, Joy. That is helping me change my mindset to accepting “what is”. These thoughts are so engrained in me. Thank you for sharing that I am not alone, Michelle, and thank you for coming to the rescue, Grant. I’m ordering the book now. 
Ok, longer than a few words in response, but at 70 I 'get' to do this ; )
Dear Sarah, "resonance between your heart and mine??"... oh my! One way I define you to people I share with is that you are someone who not only "gets 'it' ", you "speak my language", you are from "my planet"... you go deep, fast and softely....touch my soul with an insight I find in no other 'human' around me or currently in my life. I not only resonate, but dive deeply with you each time I listen to you. I find a remarkable resemblence of who I am and the dance of my mind and heart... to your ability to embrace and go inward, interest to share, and wordsmith prowess, re: being, looking, surviving. Yes.. yes... yes there is resonance between your heart and mine! Hmmm... what's on my heart? For me, it's the reality of of how to be "okay" to be "okay". To let go, drop what I call the DNA of my intensity, my 'survival' story, how amazing that at last life (gratefully for me) is the most calm and stable it has ever been... and I've had a long one! I'm finding I don't know how to live in ease and calm, it's a new practice for me. Shush, shhhhh nevous system, shhhhh......
With that said, my somatic experience, nervous system, often feels that it remains battered, beaten and bruised. Not wanted, "not seen" (which goes back to an initial rape/abuse as a teen that I have carried with me my entire life of "no one was there... no one witnessed.... and in those days you certainly didn't tell anyone!" and domestic violence). At 70 I've just been learning via somatic experiencing coaching THAT is a connection to why I've never felt "seen" and how important it is when I am!! I've had a 40 year career working with the disabled (primarially Deaf Community) and working/supporting survivors of Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault on a state level. I worked in upper management, was state director of training, managed statewide customer service department with Deaf staff, and coordinated services for Deaf victims of DV/SA throughout the state of Wisconsin.
....Yet, here's where my heart is... retired, safe, alone (utterly, but preciously alone), 2 kids grown with their own families doing well, and yet... Sarah, here I am with a "broken soul" that almost doesn't know what to do with NOT being in "fight or flight"! Analogy I made up and love: Retirement is like tap dancing as fast as you can your entire life... and then, the music stops. This relates to life in general for me as well... the music/distraction of suvival has stopped. There's just me here now (and 2 small dogs). I have want for nothing. I am utterly alone with truck loads of tools (Buddhist for 22 years, tons of my own personal growth 'mission', and Masters degree in Counseling)... plus, getting old and facing my body changing, hurting, ... the last chapter, and death. I continue to work every day on all of this in various ways. Latest is Qigong to Native American Flute music! (and I still ride my precious motorcycle!) And, mornings I listen to you in bed, eyes covered, holding and surrounded by pillows and down comforter and often burning tears fall from a deep, 'far away place' as I so profoundly resonate with you. You touch my soul, Sarah. You, my dear one, touch my soul. I feel "seen" by you. Gassho.
(A friend once told me an analogy that makes me think if of you, and how we resonate.... she said it's like we are standing on the edge of deep, dark, scary forest and there is a conveyor belt going down into it and she said "and YOU just get on it and go down in with no fear knowing you'll come out" and then said she'd sooner die than trust if she got on, she'd never come out! Sarah, I absolutely love that finding you, has been finding one more person who willingly just steps on that conveyor belt down into the dark knowing you'll come out, as I do. (P.s. you can't ask me about my heart and get a short, one sentence reply ; ) Thankful for you; just keep on being all that you are. Take from this what you will, I trust my heart will resonate.
Reading that you are grateful for my sharing my heart, touches me tenderly Michelle. As to all who took the time to read my length and comment, I feel blessed by everyone to feel, indeed... "seen".
wasn’t approaching scientifically or w superiority. loose and light. not speciesism — more a suggestion for reflection. and i was curious to see where sarah would take it since that was the invitation. (i would still ask what in the natural world takes a selfie though) ;)
Exactly why I started therapy. Bari Tessler's book The Art Of Money is grounded in somatic therapy and is the most heart centered "financial" book I have ever read.
Connecting with God. Lately, I've been in a real dry season with spirituality and feeling connected to a higher divine source. I could always sense a presence in the past, but lately, I don't at all... it's a scary feeling to feel like I'm out here willy nilly and the more I pray and try to become connected, the more distant I feel. I've always loved your meditations and sharing because you speak about God in ways I relate ~ mostly through nature. I'd love to hear you free write on times you've felt disconnected and what you did in those moments to stay hopeful when you couldn't touch the light.
Thanks for this Heidi. I’m feeling very adrift spiritually as well. I have my meditation and yoga practices, but lately I’m just going through the motions and feeling nothing. I need some kind of inspiration or new practice or something as I long to feel connected to Source again.
LOVE THIS - Sadly, the predominant power nations/people/corporations today have so little respect and understanding for how vital this concept is for a healthy peoples...
I do too .. I never feel like I'm enough .. but now as I think of it, I have never asked myself what "enough" really is. Perhaps I should start there .. thank you for spawning this thought in me.
I hear you and appreciate the honesty. I often feel that my paintings, even though they sell and I make a modest living from them, are never quite talented enough. I am working to figure this one out...
In the search for truth in life, and about life, I am questioning the authenticity of others, as well as myself. People are not what they seem or what they portray themselves to be. This is resulting in a variety of emotional and psychological discomforts and confusion.
Letting go of the guilt of walking away from hurtful family relationships. I want to be free from this and stop doubting my choice, esp since I know it’s needed 🤍
Maternity and the challenge of loving someone so deeply and feeling so happy for being a mother, and yet having so many confused feelings about the new “me” that was born with my daughter, and who we are/who we became since labor.
This is something so beautiful, so powerful, so deep and yet so challenging that I would love to hear more from you, Sarah.
currently on my mind: when will i finally feel safe to be a woman in this society, when will i feel safe enough to live a life that pays the bills AND fills my heart?
I cannot express how much this is on my mind right now... I want to rest, receive, and be in my feminine, but the bills come piling in, chores need my attention (single mom) and I feel like I need to be in my masculine to get things done. It is a lifelong struggle that I would love some support with!
A question I saw yesterday that I’ve been sitting with since… “If you want something you have never had, you must do something you have never done. What would your something be?”
What is sitting on my heart is the question of how can I make someone be faithful to me.
It seems like a stupid question, but as nobody knows me here, I find the courage to write it down anyway. Maybe there is no answer to that and maybe there is no way to make that happen. But it helps writing my question down.
The word could be "Surf". Although I do it literally with the ocean, it also applies to all life in the sense that we are all surfing through the ocean of life... Often, one may look at surfing from a distance and think that it is either basic fun, scary, or mainly just sustainable fitness. But when one surfs throughout the year, one continually is faced with ups and downs and everything in between and that is the same with trying to live life with awareness. For example, when "caught inside" (meaning looking at medium to large waves breaking right onto you (with enough force to snap a leg or easily break a surfboard in half) or breaking in front of you and you have to watch and think quickly as a 5-15 foot wall of whitewater barrels right at you, it can become a survival game - and by paying attention one learns how to deal with this) - and daily life outside the ocean is the same-a figurative wave breaks and is heading towards us and we have many different concerns, fears, awarenesses and thoughts as this "wave" is coming at us and we cannot stop it - so what do we do? And surf also greatly is about the symbiotic relationship between human and ocean/earth, and so every moment in the ocean is literally like being in the womb of Mother Earth. But in the ocean we don't have our mother's belly to keep us safe, and to survive and thrive one needs to learn to pay attention. I wish knowing how to "pay attention" in day to day life was as "focused" as it is in the ocean. I think the reason it is harder to pay attention on land is that we are not necessarily dealing with a literal immediate threat to our existence as one faces in the water - on land we are more often facing more distant threats that may be anywhere from an hour to a month or two further out, and so we have some wiggle room as to how we choose to pay attention, and we can tend to push it out of our view a bit - we are NOT forced to practice "paying attention". But the ocean will take your life in a split second if you do not pay attention right there in that moment.
Hi- I don’t know that it does pale in comparison because same as with surfing, just as all I have to “float” on is a board, all you have is a boat/ship- and when the sea gets big you know it can eat a boat for breakfast. As a mariner you too are always having to pay attention to the narrative of the sea, or else!!!! My Dad was a naval officer and used to tell me stories of having to take night watch on his aircraft carrier- again the whole issue of “paying attention” to the sea. Have seen sooooo many instances where smaller sailboats or power boats get stuck in dicey situations due to the whims of the surf (and some questionable human choices) and seen a wave just destroy a sail/powerboat… Cheers!
Resting rather than doing. (Sitting in the present moment enjoying motherhood and this season and all the demands without falling into the numbing of doing to fight off the anxiety the wants to creep in).
What happens when your child is in pain. I have mothered with a full heart until the pandemic hit and instead of our unit becoming stronger we, self isolated within the unit. Now two individuals battling each other, lost in an abyss of fear. A year after and finding our feet again, redefining who we are. Lost, found, lost again. I lost my role as. mother, and now my daughter needs me more than ever, how do I find her.
I lost my daughter after I left my 24 year marriage. She has stopped speaking to me because her need for her father’s attention and approval has made her vulnerable to his manipulation. I know she’s in pain and needs support that he can’t (won’t) give her. Once he’s done using her for some kind of tactical gain in our divorce, he will cast her aside. Perhaps that’s when she’ll reach out to me. Trying to find peace in between respecting her boundaries and also making sure she knows I love her unconditionally and that my door is always open... Your words really resonated as I lost my role as wife, mother to my daughter and practice owner all at once, along with my home and community. I was set adrift / set free. My grown son helps to keep me grounded, along with my beautiful new (ish) relationship, but I often still feel uprooted, disconnected and anxious. Her recent birthday celebration with her dad, his mistress-turned-girlfriend and my son in our family home that I still half own really threw me for a loop. I hope you’re able to reconnect with your daughter and find your bond again. That will give me some hope. ❤️
It took time, and as Sarah spoke of in the last podcast, the vulnerability became the thing that was most needed. Seeds were planted and the shots sprouted. Tiny incremental turns of events lead to a heart connection, my daughter came to me vulnerable needing a safe space and I opened my arms wide, being the shelter with love and care. A cycle was finished. Last night with the eclipse and new moon we did a ceremony writing for what we did not want and what we want for our own lives. I quite sat not looking at her, as she opened up to what was before her. It has been less than a month since I wrote the above and my daughter who was school refusal, has attend a weeks worth of one class a day, has gone to the gym and walked the dog, these to others would be the regular, but to us is the world, my daughter, Frankie is finding her feet again and it took me to resign from work and become a grounded mother, cooking meals and being present. No money or hard work will ever be the elixir of my life, but being a mother is a role that took me to find bravery to take a stand. What has proceeded is the blossoming of a girl that was lost and filled with fear. Take heart in my words and know that in one moment of vulnerability, can the change start. Thank you Jana and Thank you Sarah ........
Thank you for sharing your daughter’s and your journey with me. It brings me much hope that I will be re-connected with my own daughter someday soon I hope. 🙏🏻❤️
Letting the universe unfold without trying to control the outcome
Learning how to feel comfortable or sit with feelings as life unfolds in ways that weren’t what we hoped for and see the light
Yes! Exactly what I’m being curious about right now.
Allowing life to live through me without gripping
The gripping is so real!!
Well said 🙏
Exactly where I am at right now. Learning to trust life and letting go, and also learning to trust myself, and this journey I'm on.
This is so on point xx
I love this and feels so on point with where I'm at right now in my journey as well :)
This 💚
the space between endings and beginnings
I think sometimes about death and dying. I'd love for it to touch my life in a way that brought lightness and love and connection instead of anxiety and fear. That sounds like living to me.
I often recommend the book, Die Wise to my client who are struggling with loss. It's an amazing read by Stephen Jenkinson, a man who was the head of Hospice for a large Toronto hospital for years. He also has an excellent documentary called Grief Walker! :-)
I’m so happy that I saw your comment. I lost my father (favorite person ever) to a quick and terrible cancer last year. I have really struggled with his passing. I will definitely check out these books
I am so so sorry Amy. Another book that has supported my heart and soul on my grief journey is: The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller 🤎
'Dying to be me' also may help Amy :-)
That's a good one. Anything by Anita Moorjani.
I’m sorry for your loss.... I hope that the book will be supportive.
Thank you! A friend recommended Grief Walker to me forever ago - thank you so much for taking the time to write this to me! xoM
Thank you SO MUCH to both of you!!!! I feel like such a weirdo because anxiety and fear consume me... every day. The struggle is real. I took Sarah‘s recommendation of reading Byron Kates book, Joy. That is helping me change my mindset to accepting “what is”. These thoughts are so engrained in me. Thank you for sharing that I am not alone, Michelle, and thank you for coming to the rescue, Grant. I’m ordering the book now. 
My pleasure!! Be well!! :-))) xo
Signs by Laura Lynn Jackson 😘
excellent book
Read THE BEAUTY OF WHAT REMAINS
on my heart too. every day.
Also on my mind, Michelle! I’ll be writing about this ✨
beautiful, I'd love to see it when you do if sharing's in your wheelhouse.....xxooM
Ok, longer than a few words in response, but at 70 I 'get' to do this ; )
Dear Sarah, "resonance between your heart and mine??"... oh my! One way I define you to people I share with is that you are someone who not only "gets 'it' ", you "speak my language", you are from "my planet"... you go deep, fast and softely....touch my soul with an insight I find in no other 'human' around me or currently in my life. I not only resonate, but dive deeply with you each time I listen to you. I find a remarkable resemblence of who I am and the dance of my mind and heart... to your ability to embrace and go inward, interest to share, and wordsmith prowess, re: being, looking, surviving. Yes.. yes... yes there is resonance between your heart and mine! Hmmm... what's on my heart? For me, it's the reality of of how to be "okay" to be "okay". To let go, drop what I call the DNA of my intensity, my 'survival' story, how amazing that at last life (gratefully for me) is the most calm and stable it has ever been... and I've had a long one! I'm finding I don't know how to live in ease and calm, it's a new practice for me. Shush, shhhhh nevous system, shhhhh......
With that said, my somatic experience, nervous system, often feels that it remains battered, beaten and bruised. Not wanted, "not seen" (which goes back to an initial rape/abuse as a teen that I have carried with me my entire life of "no one was there... no one witnessed.... and in those days you certainly didn't tell anyone!" and domestic violence). At 70 I've just been learning via somatic experiencing coaching THAT is a connection to why I've never felt "seen" and how important it is when I am!! I've had a 40 year career working with the disabled (primarially Deaf Community) and working/supporting survivors of Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault on a state level. I worked in upper management, was state director of training, managed statewide customer service department with Deaf staff, and coordinated services for Deaf victims of DV/SA throughout the state of Wisconsin.
....Yet, here's where my heart is... retired, safe, alone (utterly, but preciously alone), 2 kids grown with their own families doing well, and yet... Sarah, here I am with a "broken soul" that almost doesn't know what to do with NOT being in "fight or flight"! Analogy I made up and love: Retirement is like tap dancing as fast as you can your entire life... and then, the music stops. This relates to life in general for me as well... the music/distraction of suvival has stopped. There's just me here now (and 2 small dogs). I have want for nothing. I am utterly alone with truck loads of tools (Buddhist for 22 years, tons of my own personal growth 'mission', and Masters degree in Counseling)... plus, getting old and facing my body changing, hurting, ... the last chapter, and death. I continue to work every day on all of this in various ways. Latest is Qigong to Native American Flute music! (and I still ride my precious motorcycle!) And, mornings I listen to you in bed, eyes covered, holding and surrounded by pillows and down comforter and often burning tears fall from a deep, 'far away place' as I so profoundly resonate with you. You touch my soul, Sarah. You, my dear one, touch my soul. I feel "seen" by you. Gassho.
(A friend once told me an analogy that makes me think if of you, and how we resonate.... she said it's like we are standing on the edge of deep, dark, scary forest and there is a conveyor belt going down into it and she said "and YOU just get on it and go down in with no fear knowing you'll come out" and then said she'd sooner die than trust if she got on, she'd never come out! Sarah, I absolutely love that finding you, has been finding one more person who willingly just steps on that conveyor belt down into the dark knowing you'll come out, as I do. (P.s. you can't ask me about my heart and get a short, one sentence reply ; ) Thankful for you; just keep on being all that you are. Take from this what you will, I trust my heart will resonate.
V - your words do elegant justice to Sarah's deep spiritual beauty ... and your own.
Thank you Patti, for "seeing me" 🙏❤
Beautiful and written from your heart and Wisdom. Sending love and light your way. Wendy (from Australia) ♥️
Kind thanks Wendy ~ thank you for "seeing me" ❤🙏
I can feel the beauty of this resonance. So grateful that you shared your heart
💗🙏💗
Reading that you are grateful for my sharing my heart, touches me tenderly Michelle. As to all who took the time to read my length and comment, I feel blessed by everyone to feel, indeed... "seen".
Kind thanks ❤🙏
Kind thanks, Larry ~ for "seeing me". You gave me a smile with the words "perfectly flawed"... as we all are. Amen ; ) Thank you for sending 'love' 🙏
perhaps around a concept I have been marinating -- that (unlike us) nothing in nature sees itself. would love to feel where you might carry it.
Do we know that nothing in nature sees itself? I always suspect that we think we know more about other beings than we can possibly know
wasn’t approaching scientifically or w superiority. loose and light. not speciesism — more a suggestion for reflection. and i was curious to see where sarah would take it since that was the invitation. (i would still ask what in the natural world takes a selfie though) ;)
Yes!
Great to ponder!
Love this.
Feeling lost but resisting surrender and trust.
Wow this describes me right now better than I had managed to put it
feeling like you're in anticipation of something - how to live in the in-between
how to have a healthy relationship with this thing called "money"
Exactly why I started therapy. Bari Tessler's book The Art Of Money is grounded in somatic therapy and is the most heart centered "financial" book I have ever read.
Full but not fulfilled; too much noise, not enough quiet.
I love this idea
How to accept and practice compassion with people you love deeply who have different core values and opinions than you do.
Connecting with God. Lately, I've been in a real dry season with spirituality and feeling connected to a higher divine source. I could always sense a presence in the past, but lately, I don't at all... it's a scary feeling to feel like I'm out here willy nilly and the more I pray and try to become connected, the more distant I feel. I've always loved your meditations and sharing because you speak about God in ways I relate ~ mostly through nature. I'd love to hear you free write on times you've felt disconnected and what you did in those moments to stay hopeful when you couldn't touch the light.
Thanks for this Heidi. I’m feeling very adrift spiritually as well. I have my meditation and yoga practices, but lately I’m just going through the motions and feeling nothing. I need some kind of inspiration or new practice or something as I long to feel connected to Source again.
This has resonated with me today.
I’ve done a painting and the quote was constantly going round in my head
“The Wound Is The Place Where The Light Enters You” ~ Rumi
So true.
Vital
Permission to play
The ache of change.
Joy and vulnerability. How both exist together.
I will be an ancestor one day.
Hmmm yes, precious notion.
My comment “Precious notion” was in reference to Rochelle’s comment re; “ I will be an ancestor one day.”
LOVE THIS - Sadly, the predominant power nations/people/corporations today have so little respect and understanding for how vital this concept is for a healthy peoples...
Living your day in flow state. Returning to flow state when disregulated.
Yes, yes... finding connecting with my breath and the practice of Qigong really helps return to "flow".
The paradox of wanting to share your gift and equally wanting privacy.
COMPARISON is a thief
Resistant Surrender
Totally!!
"I am enough"
I struggle daily with feelings of never being enough as a parent, wife, member of the community
I do too .. I never feel like I'm enough .. but now as I think of it, I have never asked myself what "enough" really is. Perhaps I should start there .. thank you for spawning this thought in me.
Yes, what is “enough”?
I hear you and appreciate the honesty. I often feel that my paintings, even though they sell and I make a modest living from them, are never quite talented enough. I am working to figure this one out...
Authenticity
In the search for truth in life, and about life, I am questioning the authenticity of others, as well as myself. People are not what they seem or what they portray themselves to be. This is resulting in a variety of emotional and psychological discomforts and confusion.
Finding that lightness, in the hustle of everyday life :)
Whose life expectations are we unconsciously following to our own detriment
Hmmmm nice Larry...
abandonment
loneliness
betrayal
rejection
belonging
Letting go of the guilt of walking away from hurtful family relationships. I want to be free from this and stop doubting my choice, esp since I know it’s needed 🤍
Maternity and the challenge of loving someone so deeply and feeling so happy for being a mother, and yet having so many confused feelings about the new “me” that was born with my daughter, and who we are/who we became since labor.
This is something so beautiful, so powerful, so deep and yet so challenging that I would love to hear more from you, Sarah.
Thank you from my heart to yours
Xx
Anxious attachment
I've been thinking about this too.. and reading the book "Attached" that a friend sent me right now..
What is my purpose?
Transitions and letting go and what we have learned from nature
How to find my tribe. The real friends I aim for
Self abandonment - what does the most vulnerable part of me need right now and can I parent that.
Allowing feminine energy in but still living in a world that asks you to get things done (like mothering kids with hefty schedules)
Motherhood is
Yes!
YES YES
Grief and the everlasting hole that it leaves in your heart ❤️
currently on my mind: when will i finally feel safe to be a woman in this society, when will i feel safe enough to live a life that pays the bills AND fills my heart?
I cannot express how much this is on my mind right now... I want to rest, receive, and be in my feminine, but the bills come piling in, chores need my attention (single mom) and I feel like I need to be in my masculine to get things done. It is a lifelong struggle that I would love some support with!
Wait. Weight.
LOVE all of these notes! Can't wait to sit down and write! thank you
A question I saw yesterday that I’ve been sitting with since… “If you want something you have never had, you must do something you have never done. What would your something be?”
Love that question! I will have to sit with that and use for my writing practice. Thank you
What is sitting on my heart is the question of how can I make someone be faithful to me.
It seems like a stupid question, but as nobody knows me here, I find the courage to write it down anyway. Maybe there is no answer to that and maybe there is no way to make that happen. But it helps writing my question down.
Indeed Larry 🙏
Beautifully said Larry.
The word could be "Surf". Although I do it literally with the ocean, it also applies to all life in the sense that we are all surfing through the ocean of life... Often, one may look at surfing from a distance and think that it is either basic fun, scary, or mainly just sustainable fitness. But when one surfs throughout the year, one continually is faced with ups and downs and everything in between and that is the same with trying to live life with awareness. For example, when "caught inside" (meaning looking at medium to large waves breaking right onto you (with enough force to snap a leg or easily break a surfboard in half) or breaking in front of you and you have to watch and think quickly as a 5-15 foot wall of whitewater barrels right at you, it can become a survival game - and by paying attention one learns how to deal with this) - and daily life outside the ocean is the same-a figurative wave breaks and is heading towards us and we have many different concerns, fears, awarenesses and thoughts as this "wave" is coming at us and we cannot stop it - so what do we do? And surf also greatly is about the symbiotic relationship between human and ocean/earth, and so every moment in the ocean is literally like being in the womb of Mother Earth. But in the ocean we don't have our mother's belly to keep us safe, and to survive and thrive one needs to learn to pay attention. I wish knowing how to "pay attention" in day to day life was as "focused" as it is in the ocean. I think the reason it is harder to pay attention on land is that we are not necessarily dealing with a literal immediate threat to our existence as one faces in the water - on land we are more often facing more distant threats that may be anywhere from an hour to a month or two further out, and so we have some wiggle room as to how we choose to pay attention, and we can tend to push it out of our view a bit - we are NOT forced to practice "paying attention". But the ocean will take your life in a split second if you do not pay attention right there in that moment.
I love this analogy Ben and so true. Wendy (from Australia)
Hi- I don’t know that it does pale in comparison because same as with surfing, just as all I have to “float” on is a board, all you have is a boat/ship- and when the sea gets big you know it can eat a boat for breakfast. As a mariner you too are always having to pay attention to the narrative of the sea, or else!!!! My Dad was a naval officer and used to tell me stories of having to take night watch on his aircraft carrier- again the whole issue of “paying attention” to the sea. Have seen sooooo many instances where smaller sailboats or power boats get stuck in dicey situations due to the whims of the surf (and some questionable human choices) and seen a wave just destroy a sail/powerboat… Cheers!
How to truly heal and open your heart back up to love.
Resting rather than doing. (Sitting in the present moment enjoying motherhood and this season and all the demands without falling into the numbing of doing to fight off the anxiety the wants to creep in).
We are human beings, not human doings.
YES!!!
Permission to rest
Two acronyms I created:
REST
R - relax
E - Exhale
S - Be still
T - Trust
the other is:
PEACE
P - Give permission
E - to live with ease
A - Accept/allow
C - Calm
E - Embrace
Whatever it takes, right? Yes, give yourself permission to be still. Rest.
Yes. This.
My body is trying to tell me...
What happens when your child is in pain. I have mothered with a full heart until the pandemic hit and instead of our unit becoming stronger we, self isolated within the unit. Now two individuals battling each other, lost in an abyss of fear. A year after and finding our feet again, redefining who we are. Lost, found, lost again. I lost my role as. mother, and now my daughter needs me more than ever, how do I find her.
I lost my daughter after I left my 24 year marriage. She has stopped speaking to me because her need for her father’s attention and approval has made her vulnerable to his manipulation. I know she’s in pain and needs support that he can’t (won’t) give her. Once he’s done using her for some kind of tactical gain in our divorce, he will cast her aside. Perhaps that’s when she’ll reach out to me. Trying to find peace in between respecting her boundaries and also making sure she knows I love her unconditionally and that my door is always open... Your words really resonated as I lost my role as wife, mother to my daughter and practice owner all at once, along with my home and community. I was set adrift / set free. My grown son helps to keep me grounded, along with my beautiful new (ish) relationship, but I often still feel uprooted, disconnected and anxious. Her recent birthday celebration with her dad, his mistress-turned-girlfriend and my son in our family home that I still half own really threw me for a loop. I hope you’re able to reconnect with your daughter and find your bond again. That will give me some hope. ❤️
It took time, and as Sarah spoke of in the last podcast, the vulnerability became the thing that was most needed. Seeds were planted and the shots sprouted. Tiny incremental turns of events lead to a heart connection, my daughter came to me vulnerable needing a safe space and I opened my arms wide, being the shelter with love and care. A cycle was finished. Last night with the eclipse and new moon we did a ceremony writing for what we did not want and what we want for our own lives. I quite sat not looking at her, as she opened up to what was before her. It has been less than a month since I wrote the above and my daughter who was school refusal, has attend a weeks worth of one class a day, has gone to the gym and walked the dog, these to others would be the regular, but to us is the world, my daughter, Frankie is finding her feet again and it took me to resign from work and become a grounded mother, cooking meals and being present. No money or hard work will ever be the elixir of my life, but being a mother is a role that took me to find bravery to take a stand. What has proceeded is the blossoming of a girl that was lost and filled with fear. Take heart in my words and know that in one moment of vulnerability, can the change start. Thank you Jana and Thank you Sarah ........
Thank you for sharing your daughter’s and your journey with me. It brings me much hope that I will be re-connected with my own daughter someday soon I hope. 🙏🏻❤️
Emotion is just Energy.
Rebirth
“Connection” is the word that comes to me today.