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Dear friend,
I woke to read the earth continues to warm. Green trees are growing where they should not be, sprouting from snow as old as time. Fear flung from the printed words into my chest like tiny globes of pelted ice. I paused. I sighed. I put down those words and thoughts and came to look for mine. Creation is a wheel that never stops turning. We take in the world and offer whatever our will and desire to the process.
So I tell you I heard this morning the earth continues to warm, and my heart breaks. Just like fever moving through, I swelled and flushed. And my child cupped my face in his hands and told me how much he will miss me when I die, and a cream-colored dish fell from the counter and shattered. And the warm arms of my husband wrapped around me and breathed me porous. Something broke and something opened. I felt the kindness of my knees as they carried me, and the tepid water in my cup as it warmed my hands, and the candle standing so brilliantly for its audience of one, brought me to a single point from which to see the swill of sounds at once. The crescendo of fear, worry, pleasure, grief, pressure, warmth, generosity, tenderness, perception, pain, and compassion broke over me like the surf of a wave. There is no running from the squeeze and strain of this life, our hearts are meant to break in every moment exquisitely— life makes it so. I kneel and greet the surge.
I tell you, the earth continues to warm, and with it, I do too. So I say, break me open, make me warm. Turn me inside out and right side in. Disorient and confound me if the moment calls for it. I am here to know the sound of my own breaking heart, and it resounds like an echo chamber of love.
To you, my dear friend, I offer the love that lives in me. I give you the love that came from fear and the fear that turned to love this morning. Perhaps my one single heart will speak to your single heart and strike one another like a sounding bell. That is my will, desire, and offering to the wheel of creation— to temper this life with heart. What is yours?
all my love,
Sarah
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Some poets and writers speak in words, you speak in heart. The most comforting language I can think of. Thank you 🙏🏾
Your gift with language is beyond remarkable!