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fill the belly with blooms.
“For every day, you paint the war, take a week and paint the beauty, the color, the shape of the landscape you're marching towards. Everyone knows what you're against; show them what you are for.” —Andrea Gibson
We are the artists, poets, and wisdom keepers. What we are feeling in our bodies is often true for the collective, social body. These intimate nudges or "knowings" are usually kept inside us, and the meaning or message can get lost. Coming together to name and express what we feel and better where we are going can help us survive and thrive through this time's granular and grandiose transformations.We need meaningful dialogue like we need sunlight and water. I would love for us to share and discuss:
What are we for? What are we are dying to, and maturing into?
What wisdom can you offer on how to navigate the rawness of transformation?
I want to spend more time making the beauty more vivid. This is necessary right now. I savor and cherish this community and these threads. It helps a lot of people.
love,
Sarah
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I view life as a series of endless births and deaths. The time I hold of most value is the deaths. When i can feel parts of me falling away, shedding, whether it’s my ideas, of how life is or was supposed to be, whether it’s beliefs I’ve long held in the dark and they come of light and no longer serve. This harsh reality landscape turns me always towards nature where I can let the earth and ocean carry me through the transition and transformation. I hold so dear these moments in my life. Because I still and I quiet and I watch the darkness turn to rich mulch, knowing that light is waiting in the shadows to warm this new earth, and my holding of myself through these moments plants seeds I reap in the birth cycle of life. When the light has come again and the seeds are warmed ready. I bow down, I bow down to it all. Life is my practice. No matter how my inner country is.
The wisdom I can share is yours actually and it’s tattooed on my forearm with a sunflower because they always stand tall and seek the light... “Be. Receive. Give thanks.” You said this in one of your meditations and it’s now my daily reminder when I need it.
The hope that I cling to in these dark times IS transformation. It’s uncomfortable, sticky, scary, I can’t know or expect the outcome. And that has been uncomfortable on my physical, emotional and energetic bodies. But the rise of the Divine Feminine Energy, the rise of the Matriarchy, not replacing the ways of the Patriarchy but bringing them back into balance....this feels so very hopeful to me in my bones. I feel expectant, like a child at Christmas. Will we get to see this in this lifetime? That is my burning question.
I have heard Zach Bush talk about a prophecy made by a tribe in the rainforest of Ecuador: For far too long, it says, the bird of humanity has been flying with only one wing: the wing of the masculine energy, the yang, the fire. Using just one wing, the bird can't help but go around in circles. The result is history as we know it, a story that keeps repeating itself, a story of rising and falling empires, a story of endless war, competition, fear. But according to the tribespeople, the bird is unfurling it's neglected second wing, the wing of the cooling and nurturing feminine energy. The yielding yin. Community. And so for the first time in a very long time, humanity's bird will be able to fly straight.
Not sure where i am going other than deeper inside.... and further out at the same time if that makes any sense?!? I know that when i am still and in a safe space—usually my garden—and i let myself observe and soak up everything around me, something “good” always emerges... perhaps only my own peace of mind, but often it’s the seed of an idea that grows into a journal entry, a poem, the layers of a collage, a freshly dug garden bed, or a new flavour for our summer popsicles... but whatever it is, it will be enough for me 🌻
I am for the first moments of waking, when my body is still in one world and my mind is just emerging into another. I think these are some of my truest seconds. I'm for creativity, the best way I know of honoring the ineffable, and the way I translate myself to myself. I am for forward movement and progress which I think, more and more, is really about returning and remembering and reconnecting with what we once deeply knew but have been steered away from. I'm for more simplicity in day to day living, as well as holding space for the complexity of what it is to be a woman in the world (especially in midlife). I'm for the surprising relief that can come from unraveling all the way down to a single thread as we then find ourselves free to begin again, and again. Transformation is never the picture perfect end result we so often see, or are sold. It's messy and murky and perhaps one of the most challenging of all of our human experiences. More than anything, I want to meet myself in as many moments as possible with compassion and stay with myself as I continue to become.
I am dying to overwhelm, blame, hurry and control.
I am maturing into, connection to myself,
to the Divine,
to my people in my 4 walls,
to a deeper inner knowing...listening,
to radical ownership,
to the pause between the stimulus and the response,
to more laughing,
taking myself less seriously,
smiling upon myself,
pouring out compassion and curiosity to myself so that it naturally then flows out to the collective.
I am for more bringing into the world what I find in stillness, meditation,
riding the unicorn into the material world,
letting the wild and free manifest with absolute delight & joy!
Navigating the rawness of transformation....this is what I have found myself saying to myself over the last few years of deep transformation which always leads to more expanse and integration :) ....you're not alone, stay...stay in the sensation, the feeling just a little longer, longer than feels bearable, because this too shall pass, it will come and go, just like the wind, just like storm, just like the breath, it won't stay, it will pass, this is the mechanics of existence. I actually won't die staying, there is always an arc to the feeling/sensation. Rest will come, the softening will come, am I willing to hang in there with myself, with others, can I stay...I am safe to stay. All is well.
I'm stuck on "granular and grandiose transformations". Granular meaning small perhaps and grandiose meaning, well, big (that's easy). When I think of the word 'granular' it feels itchy, irritating, rough and most of all, uncomfortable. So, now that I've thought out it here by typing, I get that our transformations ARE often granular...and more!
What are we for...we are here to marvel at + immerse into this life, heart first.
What are we are dying to, and maturing into...we are dying to those places/thoughts/behaviors we feel beholden to but that are slowly + prematurely killing our spirit. We are maturing into beings that love, accept + hold sacred without hesitation.
What wisdom can you offer on how to navigate the rawness of transformation...be the most gentle + move slow. It takes tuning into, greeting + conversing with the moment to moment, second to second messages for transformation to truly take hold.
Such a deep question. I try everyday to give, be kind and show love. Especially to the ones that need. There are few people around me that think alike but right here a whole community is there. I am here to soak up your love and understanding and have a conversations about things many people don't even care about. I have no wisdom to share, I am in a transformation myself and no idea where thats going. I try to just be in the day and hope to keep seeing and feeling like I do now and think deeply about things and just love, give and be kind.
The words of this beautiful community light the path forward, thank you Sarah and all of you. It is Something Else!
Something Else in the best possible way.
Something Else as we die to control and being controlling.
Something Else as we nurture ourselves so we can shine bright & light the path for others.
Something Else as we surrender & accept while we sit in the discomfort, while at the same time refusing to carry the fear.
The Something Else is what we are maturing into.
The rawness of transformation, I believe, is best navigated through a deep inner knowing. The knowledge may come before, during or after the shift but without it we cannot transform. Having sufficient tools in our toolbox can help us build a stronger foundation on which to build. Connection, methods to elevate our energy (movement or music are great for this), a mentor are all helpful to get us through.
Dearest Sarah, your flow in all currents is absolutely spot on. You know we are each others linkage and inside many dimensional dharma-gates, to which you are receptive and giving simultaneously. I am joyously, humanly, consciously loving (mother, grand, all the hats and roles...living seventy years, 50+ ongoing, of which entirely generatively-devoted, committed in healing-creativity, contemplative meditation practices, depth threads of transformative psychotherapuetics.
I am here now with you, with this sangha, reflecting my humanity back to all of yours, as yours in your time of leadership, teaching-student process to share my joy and compassion w your unique time and karmas. My son is you, my grands are your children, etc. My sangha your sangha collaborating with life as it is. Im so very filled with trust and verifiable faith that you all are absolutely embodying what your generative - ity ignites as you open through and expand. This beauty meets the parts we least like in ourselves and other. This self-portrait? Is all of ours. We are the ones we are waiting for. with joy, gratitude, vast ripples through compassionate serenity, I which you all continued grace. valeta
The transformation of relationships. Once, relationships were distant. People were guarded. Some angry or aggressive. Some stone walls and invalidating. Squeezing and pressing people into boxes, walls, or prisons. But now. Oh now the relationships are different. So many people have grown into a more connected, vibrant, huggable, and authentic relationship. People are healing traumas of the person, legacies, and humanity. We are more inclusive, celebrating differences. We nurture and appreciate. And we thrive on this. The growth is hard! It’s painful! But we stop and look at what we have grown before we pick up and keep tilling. As I improve my relationship with myself, speak more kindly, move patiently, so do I do the same with my external relationships.
Love everything about this, Skylar, as I am currently doing just this. Unraveling. Becoming. Transforming and holding space in the messy murkiness of it all. Starting my third act. Not knowing what it will look like, but leaning into trust. And breathing when that trust seems to disappear, knowing divine timing wins every time.
Agreed, we need meaningful dialog, among everyone, not the left, not the right, nor the back or even the white. please I offer this. I was raised to never judge, nor ever think you know someone by their politics, economics, skin, or nationality. We are to practice patience, like watching a flower open, so too, does a person's character open. That mihgt be the most fertile soil for dialogue to begin.
I love this what are you for, in my work I am really trying to move towards marveling in the wonder, let go of the chaos and show more beauty, mystery and magic. Open up to the meditations of the work by Bryon Katie and immerse myself to the present moment instead of the fear and all I can not control. Gratitude is when I am present
Melt and soften - and lead me home - kindness - grows in soft places - where the earth is rich in all the ingredients & textures of allowing emotions to move in and through the body - the tears as medicine to water the Inner Earth of our Being - enlarge and soften this Inner Landscape - moisten the inner Earth and the seeds that dwell there - allowing these tears is like caring for the Earth of the Inner Garden and like any garden - the care and attention to detail provides the environment for flourishing To me this space - the Folding In Community is a recognition of the often unseen transformation - and even in taking time to shape these words - is an honoring of the Beauty of the Wordless - Inexplicable Presence - that is in fact our very soul's hunger
I read that quote in my early days as an Actor and had a very 2D understanding of that Andrea Gibson quote- but now at 33, it has been including & creatively exploring my ‘dark’ and bringing it into the light & making art from that place. As an actor I have grown tired of playing pretty characters, making pretty art... pretty things, the positivity, it’s become exhausting... I’m in the middle of change / transformation - and one of the themes has been letting different roles that exist in me take the wheel - letting those versions of me breathe in my art...
The theme of my life seems to be communication. It's the type of {personal, nonfiction} writing I'm drawn to most. And it's the one-on-one friendships I crave. I've come to trust my instincts more in this. When a message comes to me strongly about another, I share it. Perhaps I am the messenger they are meant to hear from.
The insight I’ve found that struck me is that sometimes answers don’t come because there is no place in me to hold them. It is only after life carves a space in me that I am ready for some of the deepest longings of my soul.
I am for the flow of life, even as it is blocked in the end. I am dying to all the stones in the river that are blocking the flow of living water to the bones of my existence, the bones that shape how I live in this world. I am maturing into acceptance. I am surviving and thriving through this transition by sitting with what is, by dipping my finger into the energy flow of life at its very core. Sit by the river with a calm heart. Watch the flow with clear eyes.
Transformation feels messy and uncomfortable and downright hard. I’m learning to not resist it and instead notice where the energy flows. Where is there ease. It may be in that moment of how I’m spending my time or it may be in who I choose to speak to. Every time I end up supported so that whatever the transformation is, it doesn’t feel quite so hard. Ironically, as things change outwardly, the more often I do this, the more that’s changing inside.
I am dying to all the old versions of myself. I am learning that they claw to exist in the present but the present has no space for my current self to coexist with my past selves. I must grieve them as I would a dear friend. Some maybe harder than others. Grieving and letting go of them does not mean I fail to take the good, the wisdom, the joy. No, it means I relinquish their persistent pull for comparison of who I am now. I see the expanse of space and possibility that lies beyond their burial. And just as grief comes in waves unbeknownst, I must allow the emotions of loss and distant come wash over me. Such is the beauty and cost of letting go but with it comes the reward of the infinite potential of a seed, a budding new plant.
So here is planning a funeral for all the past versions of myself and for all the false beliefs that no longer serve.
Thank you for this message which has tremendously helped put in context the great breakdown I had last year. I felt like I was dying and couldn’t longer bear my body. I didn’t understand at the time that however how mentally and physically painful, I was metaphorically dying to my old way of being. This gives so much help in understanding the experiences that only get labeled as mental illness. We can now respond to our loved Ones with the question of What needs to die in you? I’m so grateful for your self reflection questions
I view life as a series of endless births and deaths. The time I hold of most value is the deaths. When i can feel parts of me falling away, shedding, whether it’s my ideas, of how life is or was supposed to be, whether it’s beliefs I’ve long held in the dark and they come of light and no longer serve. This harsh reality landscape turns me always towards nature where I can let the earth and ocean carry me through the transition and transformation. I hold so dear these moments in my life. Because I still and I quiet and I watch the darkness turn to rich mulch, knowing that light is waiting in the shadows to warm this new earth, and my holding of myself through these moments plants seeds I reap in the birth cycle of life. When the light has come again and the seeds are warmed ready. I bow down, I bow down to it all. Life is my practice. No matter how my inner country is.
The wisdom I can share is yours actually and it’s tattooed on my forearm with a sunflower because they always stand tall and seek the light... “Be. Receive. Give thanks.” You said this in one of your meditations and it’s now my daily reminder when I need it.
The hope that I cling to in these dark times IS transformation. It’s uncomfortable, sticky, scary, I can’t know or expect the outcome. And that has been uncomfortable on my physical, emotional and energetic bodies. But the rise of the Divine Feminine Energy, the rise of the Matriarchy, not replacing the ways of the Patriarchy but bringing them back into balance....this feels so very hopeful to me in my bones. I feel expectant, like a child at Christmas. Will we get to see this in this lifetime? That is my burning question.
I have heard Zach Bush talk about a prophecy made by a tribe in the rainforest of Ecuador: For far too long, it says, the bird of humanity has been flying with only one wing: the wing of the masculine energy, the yang, the fire. Using just one wing, the bird can't help but go around in circles. The result is history as we know it, a story that keeps repeating itself, a story of rising and falling empires, a story of endless war, competition, fear. But according to the tribespeople, the bird is unfurling it's neglected second wing, the wing of the cooling and nurturing feminine energy. The yielding yin. Community. And so for the first time in a very long time, humanity's bird will be able to fly straight.
That is the hope that I cling to. ✨🕊️
Not sure where i am going other than deeper inside.... and further out at the same time if that makes any sense?!? I know that when i am still and in a safe space—usually my garden—and i let myself observe and soak up everything around me, something “good” always emerges... perhaps only my own peace of mind, but often it’s the seed of an idea that grows into a journal entry, a poem, the layers of a collage, a freshly dug garden bed, or a new flavour for our summer popsicles... but whatever it is, it will be enough for me 🌻
I am for the first moments of waking, when my body is still in one world and my mind is just emerging into another. I think these are some of my truest seconds. I'm for creativity, the best way I know of honoring the ineffable, and the way I translate myself to myself. I am for forward movement and progress which I think, more and more, is really about returning and remembering and reconnecting with what we once deeply knew but have been steered away from. I'm for more simplicity in day to day living, as well as holding space for the complexity of what it is to be a woman in the world (especially in midlife). I'm for the surprising relief that can come from unraveling all the way down to a single thread as we then find ourselves free to begin again, and again. Transformation is never the picture perfect end result we so often see, or are sold. It's messy and murky and perhaps one of the most challenging of all of our human experiences. More than anything, I want to meet myself in as many moments as possible with compassion and stay with myself as I continue to become.
Love this so much. I am here for ripe, real, beauty and vivid intimacy.
I am dying to overwhelm, blame, hurry and control.
I am maturing into, connection to myself,
to the Divine,
to my people in my 4 walls,
to a deeper inner knowing...listening,
to radical ownership,
to the pause between the stimulus and the response,
to more laughing,
taking myself less seriously,
smiling upon myself,
pouring out compassion and curiosity to myself so that it naturally then flows out to the collective.
I am for more bringing into the world what I find in stillness, meditation,
riding the unicorn into the material world,
letting the wild and free manifest with absolute delight & joy!
Navigating the rawness of transformation....this is what I have found myself saying to myself over the last few years of deep transformation which always leads to more expanse and integration :) ....you're not alone, stay...stay in the sensation, the feeling just a little longer, longer than feels bearable, because this too shall pass, it will come and go, just like the wind, just like storm, just like the breath, it won't stay, it will pass, this is the mechanics of existence. I actually won't die staying, there is always an arc to the feeling/sensation. Rest will come, the softening will come, am I willing to hang in there with myself, with others, can I stay...I am safe to stay. All is well.
I am here for light and living, beauty and singing, shining and dancing, in freedom.
I'm stuck on "granular and grandiose transformations". Granular meaning small perhaps and grandiose meaning, well, big (that's easy). When I think of the word 'granular' it feels itchy, irritating, rough and most of all, uncomfortable. So, now that I've thought out it here by typing, I get that our transformations ARE often granular...and more!
What are we for...we are here to marvel at + immerse into this life, heart first.
What are we are dying to, and maturing into...we are dying to those places/thoughts/behaviors we feel beholden to but that are slowly + prematurely killing our spirit. We are maturing into beings that love, accept + hold sacred without hesitation.
What wisdom can you offer on how to navigate the rawness of transformation...be the most gentle + move slow. It takes tuning into, greeting + conversing with the moment to moment, second to second messages for transformation to truly take hold.
Such a deep question. I try everyday to give, be kind and show love. Especially to the ones that need. There are few people around me that think alike but right here a whole community is there. I am here to soak up your love and understanding and have a conversations about things many people don't even care about. I have no wisdom to share, I am in a transformation myself and no idea where thats going. I try to just be in the day and hope to keep seeing and feeling like I do now and think deeply about things and just love, give and be kind.
Thank you..❤
I am for healing. Healing the wounds of the little girl inside.
I am dying to self loathing and trying to outrun internal wounds I didn’t know were there.
I am maturing into the woman I was meant to be.
There is no easy way to navigate transformation. The only way is through.
The words of this beautiful community light the path forward, thank you Sarah and all of you. It is Something Else!
Something Else in the best possible way.
Something Else as we die to control and being controlling.
Something Else as we nurture ourselves so we can shine bright & light the path for others.
Something Else as we surrender & accept while we sit in the discomfort, while at the same time refusing to carry the fear.
The Something Else is what we are maturing into.
The rawness of transformation, I believe, is best navigated through a deep inner knowing. The knowledge may come before, during or after the shift but without it we cannot transform. Having sufficient tools in our toolbox can help us build a stronger foundation on which to build. Connection, methods to elevate our energy (movement or music are great for this), a mentor are all helpful to get us through.
Dearest Sarah, your flow in all currents is absolutely spot on. You know we are each others linkage and inside many dimensional dharma-gates, to which you are receptive and giving simultaneously. I am joyously, humanly, consciously loving (mother, grand, all the hats and roles...living seventy years, 50+ ongoing, of which entirely generatively-devoted, committed in healing-creativity, contemplative meditation practices, depth threads of transformative psychotherapuetics.
I am here now with you, with this sangha, reflecting my humanity back to all of yours, as yours in your time of leadership, teaching-student process to share my joy and compassion w your unique time and karmas. My son is you, my grands are your children, etc. My sangha your sangha collaborating with life as it is. Im so very filled with trust and verifiable faith that you all are absolutely embodying what your generative - ity ignites as you open through and expand. This beauty meets the parts we least like in ourselves and other. This self-portrait? Is all of ours. We are the ones we are waiting for. with joy, gratitude, vast ripples through compassionate serenity, I which you all continued grace. valeta
The transformation of relationships. Once, relationships were distant. People were guarded. Some angry or aggressive. Some stone walls and invalidating. Squeezing and pressing people into boxes, walls, or prisons. But now. Oh now the relationships are different. So many people have grown into a more connected, vibrant, huggable, and authentic relationship. People are healing traumas of the person, legacies, and humanity. We are more inclusive, celebrating differences. We nurture and appreciate. And we thrive on this. The growth is hard! It’s painful! But we stop and look at what we have grown before we pick up and keep tilling. As I improve my relationship with myself, speak more kindly, move patiently, so do I do the same with my external relationships.
Love everything about this, Skylar, as I am currently doing just this. Unraveling. Becoming. Transforming and holding space in the messy murkiness of it all. Starting my third act. Not knowing what it will look like, but leaning into trust. And breathing when that trust seems to disappear, knowing divine timing wins every time.
Agreed, we need meaningful dialog, among everyone, not the left, not the right, nor the back or even the white. please I offer this. I was raised to never judge, nor ever think you know someone by their politics, economics, skin, or nationality. We are to practice patience, like watching a flower open, so too, does a person's character open. That mihgt be the most fertile soil for dialogue to begin.
I love this what are you for, in my work I am really trying to move towards marveling in the wonder, let go of the chaos and show more beauty, mystery and magic. Open up to the meditations of the work by Bryon Katie and immerse myself to the present moment instead of the fear and all I can not control. Gratitude is when I am present
My chorus:
Melt and soften - and lead me home - kindness - grows in soft places - where the earth is rich in all the ingredients & textures of allowing emotions to move in and through the body - the tears as medicine to water the Inner Earth of our Being - enlarge and soften this Inner Landscape - moisten the inner Earth and the seeds that dwell there - allowing these tears is like caring for the Earth of the Inner Garden and like any garden - the care and attention to detail provides the environment for flourishing To me this space - the Folding In Community is a recognition of the often unseen transformation - and even in taking time to shape these words - is an honoring of the Beauty of the Wordless - Inexplicable Presence - that is in fact our very soul's hunger
I read that quote in my early days as an Actor and had a very 2D understanding of that Andrea Gibson quote- but now at 33, it has been including & creatively exploring my ‘dark’ and bringing it into the light & making art from that place. As an actor I have grown tired of playing pretty characters, making pretty art... pretty things, the positivity, it’s become exhausting... I’m in the middle of change / transformation - and one of the themes has been letting different roles that exist in me take the wheel - letting those versions of me breathe in my art...
The theme of my life seems to be communication. It's the type of {personal, nonfiction} writing I'm drawn to most. And it's the one-on-one friendships I crave. I've come to trust my instincts more in this. When a message comes to me strongly about another, I share it. Perhaps I am the messenger they are meant to hear from.
The insight I’ve found that struck me is that sometimes answers don’t come because there is no place in me to hold them. It is only after life carves a space in me that I am ready for some of the deepest longings of my soul.
I am for the flow of life, even as it is blocked in the end. I am dying to all the stones in the river that are blocking the flow of living water to the bones of my existence, the bones that shape how I live in this world. I am maturing into acceptance. I am surviving and thriving through this transition by sitting with what is, by dipping my finger into the energy flow of life at its very core. Sit by the river with a calm heart. Watch the flow with clear eyes.
Transformation feels messy and uncomfortable and downright hard. I’m learning to not resist it and instead notice where the energy flows. Where is there ease. It may be in that moment of how I’m spending my time or it may be in who I choose to speak to. Every time I end up supported so that whatever the transformation is, it doesn’t feel quite so hard. Ironically, as things change outwardly, the more often I do this, the more that’s changing inside.
I am dying to all the old versions of myself. I am learning that they claw to exist in the present but the present has no space for my current self to coexist with my past selves. I must grieve them as I would a dear friend. Some maybe harder than others. Grieving and letting go of them does not mean I fail to take the good, the wisdom, the joy. No, it means I relinquish their persistent pull for comparison of who I am now. I see the expanse of space and possibility that lies beyond their burial. And just as grief comes in waves unbeknownst, I must allow the emotions of loss and distant come wash over me. Such is the beauty and cost of letting go but with it comes the reward of the infinite potential of a seed, a budding new plant.
So here is planning a funeral for all the past versions of myself and for all the false beliefs that no longer serve.
Thank you for this message which has tremendously helped put in context the great breakdown I had last year. I felt like I was dying and couldn’t longer bear my body. I didn’t understand at the time that however how mentally and physically painful, I was metaphorically dying to my old way of being. This gives so much help in understanding the experiences that only get labeled as mental illness. We can now respond to our loved Ones with the question of What needs to die in you? I’m so grateful for your self reflection questions