The Things That Broke My Heart This Week (in the best way)

Embracing life's unavoidable beauty, a guided meditation, and reflection for big and little heartbreak.

I wasn't letting myself feel this week's heartbreak at first. Moving along, putting dishes away, removing stains from baby blue t-shirts, laughing, but also hurting. My awareness and body were passing through life, but I was not receiving it. The quiet realizations would puncture my heart, and like most of us, I kept going. Did not stop. As the ache of a life mounted, I kept walking.

Hearts can atrophy, you know? It is easy for us to walk through our lives without noticing how many ways we are being invited to feel. You can skim the surface, get lost in work, and call it a day.

We can enter the desolate place of numbness after passing enough time without registering. When the light of the day no longer catches my eye, I know I'm there. I see, but nothing is landing where it should. There is light, but not warmth. I sometimes find it difficult to love the world as much as I do. The act of detachment is a way to cope. At some point, love (or a lack of love) will fill and burst my container and wake me up. Good thing.

The places I've been refusing to honor become clear to me when this happens. There is a love that is asking to be felt every day. It is as if my heart wants to be broken, and open forever, and forever. No numbness, no indifference. Feel. We express our gratitude for our life this way, we move slowly enough to hear the song our heart sings when it breaks. Perhaps hearing this song is the main reason we're alive.