Our bodies are so tuned to one another. Our relationships are like forks striking setting off years worth of information pertinent to their lifespan.
There is no way we can come together without history and sound reverberating through us. We are bound to rub against each other's, sometimes sweet melodies, and off-tune strings during the holiday season. It is the unavoidable and inevitable gift and grind of human relationships. It is love that brings us together, and it is love that makes us stumble. Our lingering pain and patterns get confronted, and we turn back to the original wound. Despite our best efforts, the story is strong and the body reacts to being struck.
Inherently protective, it ignites a defensive voice inside of you that competes with the voice of love. This voice whispers, "Give me this," "don't do that," "I'm owed this experience and version of you." It sits next to the quiet, selfless love and contentment. Without care, we risk letting the voice we do not want dominate. In this way, we will suffer, as well as our loved ones, and the moment will be robbed of us. In the absence of wisdom, we will inevitably fall into this demanding trance. We will recognize that with what available time we had, we wasted listening to this voice's endless, insatiable demands. Our tendency is to fall into it instead of letting it go, moving away from an open and available presence. Essentially, breaking our own heart.
When we join together with loved ones or alone, we will surely feel something. Mid winter and Greif seem to have a friendly relationship. It may be that a wave of feelings, memories, and beliefs will ultimately surface for our good, and that we must allow it to move through us with increasing grace. The process can, however, take a lot of attention. While I have been able to come together without any discomfort, I have also been caught up in the tension and have been unable to prevent it from affecting others. I have been all the ways and experienced how difficult it is to remain neutral and accepting. The longing in my heart remains the same no matter how I turn up. I will continue to feel whatever triggers me, and use it to return to my heart and ask for better ways to move forward. When I am struck, I pray that the only thing that will remain is love reverberating through all those I cherish. Prayer, effort, failure, and remembering.
I offer this short guided meditation to steady your heart on the path