There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
“The Way It Is” by William Stafford
Under a stairwell, hiding with a tape recorder that my parents gave me. I listen to my voice playing back, filled with intense affirmation. My 7-year-old hand holds one lighted thread. Your voice, your sound. It is your anchoring cord.
It is my first time writing a story. A door swinging open in my heart struck me. An expanse of land rolled out before me.Yet another thread. Your gift is this path. There were so many unspoken words inside me that my heart almost broke.
Mr. Clark, my eighth grade math teacher, stared at me from behind his dirty glasses. He breathed down on me as he quizzed me before the class. I was unable to answer the question. In a humilitating tone, he asks, "How did you get this far?". From the wound in your heart, a thread is emerging. I discover the depths of shame and renounce cruelty.
It's hard for me to pinpoint when and how the first thread was given, but it began very early on. I have been steadily ingrained and growing alongside something. We are given this thread, and as we walk, it grows thicker, reaching out and splitting our challenges. Everyone holds onto something profound and deep within themselves that keeps them rooted. Though we may not have taken time to think about this deeply, something has always held our hands.
Did you know that lightning sometimes ascends from the ground to meet its counterparts descending from the skies? This dance of electric light forms a luminous bridge connecting opposite ends of the earth, a union of sky and soil. As energy cascades from cloud to ground, it carves a path through ionized air. Merging with the positive realm below, a powerful return stroke surges upward, closing the circuit. This dazzling return stroke is what we perceive as lightning. The sky and earth gods connect.
These lifelines feel like this to me. Like divine energy descending from above (or inside, I'm not sure) to meet this little, sweet heart body in a shock of delight, and remembrance. A reassurance of safety, a reminder of my intrinsic power and connection. An inextinguishable thread of light.
In some way we are exposed to the sometimes wretched and scary nature of humans, we see our own caged, kicking and spitting brute, and unrivalled beauty meets its inhuman twin every day. Through it all, we survive, but only because there is a crack in the door, where we can hear a mother singing something sweetly, and feel love running down our spines.Despite the darkness, this crack in the door stays open, and it gives us a thread to hold onto that ensures we never lose our way. That is why we walk despite the dilemma. It knows, set among the weeds, is something worth walking toward and for. Our lives would not be possible without this thread.
While watching my son Leo climb to astonishing heights in the evergreens, I cautioned him to be aware of his movements. As he descended, his confidence unshaken, he declared, "Mama, these trees are good. These trees will never let me fall." Here lies his intrinsic connection to the earth, one of his pillars. He has tapped into the part of himself that is connected to nature. The green fire. His lifeline is knowing nature supports him. His glinting thread. From my feet to my face, I smiled. Relief filled me. As clear as a lark's song, I saw it. The lightening found him when I wasn’t looking. His connection is strong. The mother's heart is released.